Hogwarts through the Hits
by Hello Sunshine
Summary: A journey through Hogwarts for 6 students through 1971-77 to a soundtrack of each year's biggest hit. Eventual SBRL and JPLE with some good ole one sided SSLE.
1. My Sweet Lord

**First Year**

Remus knew about suffering. Lord did he know.

The rising moon was nothing to scoff at. It was beautiful, in its own way – opalescent, a shimmering white globe suspended in the night sky, illuminating the dew on the grass and the reflective eyes of the night animals. The earth smelt cool, the day's heat dying down. The crickets chirped loudly, accompanied by the fervent murmurs of prayer.

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee,"

Remus turned his fever-glassed eyes towards the sound, head lolling painfully on his neck; almost as if it wasn't meant to be attached there at all. His mother knelt at the small altar she had created in their backyard: it consisted simply of a small alcove with a statue of Mary inside. Chrysanthemums, lilies, daisies, hydrangeas and flowers of all sorts clamored around it, indicating a garden once carefully and lovingly tended but as of late ignored and disused.

Rhea Lupin knelt on the cool ground, eyes closed, head bowed. Her blonde curls were loose, in disarray, carried this way and that by the nights wind. Her bow shaped lips mouthed the words to the prayer: a prayer for safety, salvation, redemption. Remus watched numbly, hearing the words but knowing they meant nothing. They never meant anything. They never _did_ anything.

"Blessed art thou amongst women,"

Remus was a smart boy: a logical boy. Descended from a long line of Ravenclaws, his brain functioned on a level that knew that one plus one always equaled two. _Always_. His dear, loving, muggle mother said her prayers once a month, every full moon, complete with kneeling and her old rosary. She never let anything interrupt her, not even the imminent rise of the beast.

But for all the prayers, for all the fervent, impassioned pleas his Mother gave, there was never any response. Not one. Remus still felt pain, still transformed and when he woke up the next morning (or afternoon, or evening), he knew that in 29 more days his little, broken family would do it all over again. No cure ever came (although many people professed they had found one). No respite was ever given. Remus suffered every 29 days like clockwork, when he screamed his throat raw and clawed his nasty, terrible, cursed body into tatters. It didn't matter if his Mother prayed to Mary or the Lord himself (or Krishna, or Buddha – Remus was a well read, accepting child): no amount of prayer could provide his salvation. He was destined to live the life of a cursed, wretched dark creature.

"And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus."

He felt the muscles in his legs tighten painfully, readying themselves for the oncoming slaughter. He whimpered painfully but it did not deter his mother from her praying. He was eleven. 7 years of this hell. He couldn't even claim it as his own: no, it was his family's burden. His mother coped with prayer and an excessive amount of baking. His father with alcohol and silence. And Remus with books and music and logic: anything to drown out the wolf's voice in his head. It got worse, the closer is got to the full moon. It would start off as whispers that Remus used to mistake for his parents speaking. The ill look they would share reminded him that it wasn't. The week leading up his brain would suddenly be attacked by insane ramblings of the wolf that he tried his best to keep at bay (hungryhungryrunrunrunrunrunr un). Reading helped, his father's daily lessons in simple charms, his mothers chocolate chip cookies, the muggle radio.

His aches and pains were soothed with a long, hot bath and a good cup of tea. He always got to sit in his father's beloved armchair in front of the fireplace when it got bad, his grandmother's knitted quilt over his lap. He never prayed: never murmured a faint amen at the dinner table, never sent up a 'sweet merlin' like his father did when something had him in awe. If the Lord answered prayers, he wouldn't be living a life like this. He wouldn't be stuck in a wretched body like this. He clenched his jaw in sudden agony as a tendril of pain shot up his side.

"Holy Mary, Mother of God,"

He felt his father's large, calloused hand come down on his shoulder. He looked up into the grim, dark eyes of the silent man. With his heightened senses Remus could smell the whiskey off his breath, along with a faint scent of chicken that left his stomach reeling. Remus simply blinked up at John Lupin, amber eyes illuminated by the night, doing his best to hold back a snarl at the hulking figure intruding into the wolf's space.

John simply brushed the graying hair out of his eyes tiredly and picked up his son, not saying a word. No words needed to be said: no words were adequate.

"Pray for us sinners now," his mother's voice got louder, shriller, betraying her aura of calm as she heard her two boys head inside. Remus rested his head against his father's broad shoulder, anxiety rising as they thudded past the door and down the stairs into the darkened cellar. Down, down, down into the blackened room.

John put his son down gingerly on the decrepit mattress, taking in the flushed, sweaty skin. He looked down at him before heaving a sigh and walking slowly back up the stairs, closing the door with a resounding bang. Remus felt his breath quicken in anticipation, as he struggled to remain composed. He could hear his father murmuring protection charms; pleading, whispered words to Merlin; practically taste (humanhumaneateateat) his mother's erratic breathing, shrill praying.

", and at the hour of our death,"

And it was here that Remus broke the level of calm he had been trying to embody all day (allweekallmonthallyear). Here, alone in the cellar where no one could hear him or see him except the wolf who reared back and howled as the moon came through the clouds and the moonbeam inched its progress on the cement floor towards the mattress.

Please Lord! Hare Krishna! Gurur Brahma! Hare Rama! Sweet Merlin _Please_!

The moonbeam lighted on his hand and Remus ceased to think, ceased to call out to whatever deity was listening (take me away, have mercy, _please_) and screamed a feral, horrifying scream as his body bowed and snapped under pressure. The wolf came out laughing its terrible, wrathful laugh. John Lupin leaned his head against the fortified door sadly, eyes clenching shut tightly. Rhea Lupin paused for only a minute, golden curls eerily still, tears making their way out from underneath her closed eyelids and down her rosy cheeks.

"Amen."

Remus opened his amber eyes blearily, looking around his room. He could feel the bandages across his chest, around his leg, his arm, wrist, foot. There was a slab of chocolate next to his bed, along with a small teapot and a glass filled with a vile liquid that made Remus grimace before even having moved. He sat up slowly, careful to mind the bandages and take stock of his aches and pains this month. With trembling hands he downed the liquid in one gulp, gagging, before breaking off a piece of chocolate and savoring the sweetness as it melted in his mouth. He was reaching out for his tea when he heard the sound of quick whispering downstairs. His father's deep baritone, his mother's soft alto….and there: another, one he does not recognize. Curious, Remus slowly lifts himself off the bed, glad that his mother had put on his favorite pajama pants for him.

The stairs to the kitchen seem so steep and so, so high, but he leans heavily against the railing and makes it downstairs nearly silently. He stands, barefoot in the doorway of the kitchen, one hand trailing the wall as a just-in-case assurance and takes in the scene before him, blinking. His mother flutters nervously from the stovetop to the kitchen table to stand behind John, thrusting cookies, brownies and cake of all varieties at their guest. She smoothes her blond curls repetitively but cannot hide the bloodshot eyes and perpetually pinched corners of her mouth. John sits at the table, resting on his elbows, fingers steepled at his lips contemplatively. The purple and blue bags indicate it was another difficult night for the Lupin family before he looks up and spots the thin, sickly child in the doorway. His face blanches but Remus spots something unrecognizable spark in his eyes. He is not familiar with the emotion, and cocks his head to the side in question.

Their guest catches John's gaze and turns around to follow the stare. He is an old man, dressed in wizarding dress robes of various shades of purple. He has a tall, purple hat and a white beard. He is wearing glasses the shape of half-moons and his pale blue eyes twinkle over the top of them at Remus.

"Why hello. You must be Remus." The guest says casually, as if not noticing the jagged scars crisscrossed across his arms and the great, white bandages stretched across his chest. Remus nods warily, looking away from the guest and towards his parents who are watching him apprehensively.

"My name is Albus Dumbledore," he continues gently, before gesturing to the seat beside him. "Please, there is no need to stand in the doorway, our conversation should include you." Remus shuffles slowly to the seat, and struggles into it, his Mother helping him, attempting to quickly flatten his wayward locks.

"Oh dear, you'll have to excuse us Mr. Dumbledore, we weren't expecting any company you see –"

"It is absolutely not a problem my dear Mrs. Lupin. John was a novel student and I have come, I believe, at a very trying time. Perhaps I should have come another day…"

"No." John says, perhaps a little too forcefully, as Rhea and Remus startle, turning identical wide eyes at him. "No." he repeats, softer this time. "You are always welcome in our home Professor Dumbledore, always."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkle, but there is an underlying emotion: not pity but something very much akin to it. Compassion perhaps: Remus cannot tell. He finds it difficult to identify emotions beyond anger and sadness. Even when his parents are happy there is a pervasive, lingering sadness underneath it all.

"Please John, you have not been a student in many years now – call me Albus. No need for formalities." He responds cheerfully, taking a sip of his tea. John simply nods stiffly, none of the Lupins touching the various pastries on the table.

"As you may or may not have been aware, Headmaster Diddle retired a number of years ago. He passed on the title to myself." Dumbledore intones, setting his tea down.

"Congratulations," John murmurs with a forced grin. Dumbledore inclines his head slightly but continues.

"And as I am sure you are very much aware, the Ministry has a policy against the admittance of….certain dark creatures into schools." John says nothing this time, simply looking out the back window into the backyard. Rhea starts at the term and busies herself at the stove. Only Remus has the nerve to look the Headmaster in the face, and is rewarded with a small smile.

"I understand you turned eleven this past March, Remus." He can only nod, wondering what is going on, not fully comprehending the conversation in his weakened, sleepy state.

"Let be noted that, regrettably. I cannot change the rules of the Ministry." Not one of the Lupins move, shoulders slumping and already resigned to their fate. Their hell.

"I understand Albus," John murmurs, not meeting the older man's eyes. "I'm sure you've done what you could…"

"I cannot change the rules of the Ministry," Dumbledore repeats, over John's soft murmuring. "But I do have the power to change the policies at Hogwarts." The silence is ringing. John stares across the table in shock while Remus and Rhea both look slightly perplexed.

"Does this – does this mean…?" Rhea questions softly, hands at her mouth.

"I can go to school?" Remus finally questions, incredulous. Dumbledore smiles at him and lays an old hand over Remus' scarred one.

"Yes my dear boy, that is, in effect, what I am trying to say," Remus grins suddenly: a whole grin, teeth and all. His eyes crinkle around the corners and his left cheek has a dimple that his parents are sure they'd forgotten existed. Rhea begins to giggle and John's mouth turns up at the side.

"Cor-" Remus breathes. "Love me a duck!" Dumbledore simply throws his head back and laughs.

Later that night, after Dumbledore has stayed for lunch and been sent back to Hogwarts with 2 bags full of baked goods, Remus crawls into his bed. His ribs hurt and his face hurts from laughing so much, but his heart feels light like it hasn't in quite some time. The logistics are already planned out and he and his parents will be going to Hogwarts in a few weeks time to meet the medi-witch and get a feel for the grounds. Remus finds that, with all the excitement, he cannot sleep so he leans over and turns the muggle radio on softly.

"My sweet lord  
Hm, my lord  
Hm, my lord

I really want to see you  
Really want to be with you  
Really want to see you lord  
But it takes so long, my lord"

The little boy with the amber eyes simply smiles and hums along with the music, taking time to send up a silent thank you to God, Allah, Vishnu, Buddha and Merlin. Maybe he was a blessed child after all.


	2. Amazing Grace

**Second Year **

Sirius has never felt so wholly nervous for a sorting in his whole life. Of course, he's only ever been to one, which happened to be his own, but that is beside the point.

"Wouldn't it be cool if Regulus was sorted into Gryffindor?" James whispers from across the table as they watch the first years shuffle in nervously. Sirius nearly reaches across and strangles him but Remus' hand on his leg stop him. Brooding grey eyes meet warm amber and Sirius has to look away first. Remus knows. He understands.

Regulus will not be sorted into Gryffindor.

Sirius had explained it to his little brother over the summer holidays.

"Reggie –there's only room for one Black sheep of the family, get it?" Regulus simply lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow to indicate that he did not. "I am the only one who gets sorted into a different house – you will just have to go to Slytherin and deal with it there." Regulus pouts for the better part of an hour, but forgets his qualms as soon as Sirius brings the chess board into the room.

Sirius may be many things: impatient, pig-headed, quick to anger. But he is also observant. And he knows that Regulus will not last 5 minutes in the lion's den. Not that his fellow housemates would be any less accommodating with Reg then they were him: it's the others Sirius worries about. The Slytherins have already been denied one Black heir, Merlin knows how they would react to losing both to their most hated house. His parents (he shudders simply thinking about their reaction) would not stand for it. During the summer Sirius was treated to various new ways to feel pain, courtesy of his slightly (not so slightly) insane Mother. Her logic, as always, was flawed: if she beat him enough, maybe she could beat the lion out of his heart – out of his soul. Regulus had sobbed simply looking at Sirius' bruises (because lord forbid his mother ever leave an actual mark). Imagine if he'd actually had to suffer through them? No, it just wouldn't do. Regulus had to be sorted into Slytherin – even though it broke Sirius' heart to know it.

"There he is," Remus murmurs in his ear, jerking his chin in the direction of a short, dark head of shiny black hair. Sirius gulps and is suddenly very glad that the welcoming meal doesn't come until after the sorting. He probably would have thrown it all up. James is guffawing at something Fabian Prewett said and Gideon is looking at Sirius like he should also be laughing, but he simply can't find the heart for it.

Regulus looks up suddenly and catches Sirius' eye. Grey meets grey and Regulus smiles a very, very small (and slightly nauseous) smile. Sirius is fairly sure that his smile looks exactly the same, and he is not even the one being sorted. Remus grabs his hand, gripping it tightly with more force than he probably intended and they both suck in a sharp breath as McGonagall places the Sorting Hat on the stool.

Sirius watches as Regulus gapes in astonishment at the singing hat before him and smiles indulgently. Their family is deep with magic: it swirls around them, bathing them in a deep pool that hardly any other families can understand. Not even the Potters, who were far more lenient about whom they let procreate with their family, or the Malfoys who have far too much questionable blood (was procreation with a Veela really considered pure?). The Blacks are steeped in magic. He can feel it buzzing in his head at all times, constantly there, speaking to him and tempting him. But he'd never seen anything quite like the hat before. Never seen anything quite so….innocent. Perhaps that wasn't the right word, but for all their magic, the Blacks never had anything lying around that wasn't dark in some way. The sorting hat would be Regulus' first real experience with magic that wasn't tainted: clean, white magic. It had scared the bejeezus out of Sirius at first, but he'd quickly found the hat endearing (even though it had proceeded to list off a slew of Sirius' most awful qualities when he had asked to be put in Gryffindor). It started his fascination with white magic: he was no better than a muggle-born student really. He had all the same questions about things that James and even Remus and Peter had grown up around. Sirius hoped Regulus found it equally interesting.

"Black, Regulus" McGonagall called in a clear voice. Silence reigned across the hall this time. Last year his name had been met with jeers from the Gryffindor table and cheering from the Slytherins (regardless of the glares he was sending their way). These people remembered what had happened that year, and were waiting with bated breath to see what happened with the other Black heir. He could see Narcissa leaning forward in her seat slightly, prim hands clenched in her lap. Narcissa knew just as well as he did that Regulus wasn't strong enough to survive in a world with so much aggression: the world Sirius immersed himself in.

Sirius watched his little brother walk up the stairs shakily, and sit himself down on the stool, looking up at McGonagall. She smiled very slightly at him (only the Marauders would recognize this as a smile – most people didn't think she smiled at all) and placed the hat gently on his head. Sirius knew that Regulus was arguing with the hat: he could see the signs of pinched agitation on his face. Sirius started to fervently pray to Merlin that for the love of all that was good and holy, please, _please_ put Regulus in Slytherin, regardless of what he wanted.

"Slytherin," the hat hissed out, with much less passion than it usually did. It seemed, to Sirius, that it felt weary, as if it suddenly realized its age of some thousand years. Regulus blinked and hopped off the stool after a moment of hesitation. He looked over his shoulder at Sirius as McGonagall pushed him towards the green and silver table on the other end of the hall. Sirius could see the tears of frustration there, and felt his own well up as Gideon patted him on the back consolingly and Remus squeezed his hand. He heard James mutter something inane and Peter make a small noise of agreement. He looked up again when he was sure the tears were gone and saw that Regulus had slid in close to Narcissa who was speaking to him in a low voice, rubbing his back slightly. Reg was looking forlornly at the table and Narcissa's blue eyes met his from across the room. They watched each other for a minute before she smiled sadly at him and turned back to Regulus.

Narcissa was smart. She knew what sacrifices Sirius had made to adopt his current lifestyle. She was aware of the beatings, the anger, the stifling hatred that filled Number 12 Grimmauld Place on a regular basis. She knew it wasn't easy. She had been far less enamored by blood purity since Andromeda had run away: not that she would speak out against it like he would. But she'd shown she'd cared for her cousins on her visits with her Aunt Walberga. She'd brought chocolate, parchment and little things to amuse Sirius while he was stuck in his room. She always asked Kreacher to bring up extra desserts for the two boys if they were sent to their rooms after dinner, without letting her aunt and uncle know. She was a good person who loved her family. She would watch out for Regulus and help him grow up a little so that next year, when she was gone, he would be able to support himself. She would play the older sibling when Sirius wasn't able to. It killed him.

He watched the rest of the sorting in a hazy blur and ate with far less gusto than James or Peter. Remus seemed to pick up on his vibe and was equally unenthusiastic about the food on his plate, pushing it around with his fork. When the food was cleared and Dumbledore had said some words about staying away from the Forbidden Forest and the Whomping Willow (and clearly ignored Filch who stood at the end of the head table, red-faced, waving his _List of Banned Items_ at Dumbledore in anger) the rest of the hall moved in one smooth motion. The Gryffindor first years were led away in a small gaggle towards the tower.

Sirius placed his hands in his pockets and walked along broodingly beside Remus; James and Peter discussing something in front of them. Suddenly he felt a hand grip his elbow and he turned in surprise to see Regulus there, red faced from having cut through the crowd. He stopped and looked up at Narcissa, who waited patiently at the end of the hallway. Remus, James and Peter had also stopped but Sirius just wanted them out of here. No one else needed to hear what he and Reg said to each other.

Luckily, Remus was the most extremely perceptive friend he'd ever had, and distracted the other two with practiced ease.

"Oi, James, isn't that Lily up there with Longbottom?" James was perked up and down the hallway in a minute flat, Peter trailing after him. Remus shot Sirius a smirk and a kind smile at Regulus before following after his friends slowly with a whistle and a slight limp in his gait.

Sirius and Regulus stood looking at each other in the hallway, waiting for the other students to wean out. Sirius was already much taller than Regulus: it was clear he was going to be the taller of the two. But Regulus, at his young age, had already perfected the haughty, superior Black look and Sirius knew he would put it to good use on other students (and probably some teachers). It was something they'd been trained to do and believe in, and Regulus had been far too sheltered and spoiled to think twice about it. Perhaps that was Sirius' fault: he had, after all, taken part in a large portion of that spoiling and sheltering.

"I asked it to put me with you Siri," Regulus started tremulously. "Even though you told me not to," he jutted his chin out defiantly, but his watery eyes ruined the effect. Sirius grinned a bit and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Reg, you were born for Slytherin." As Regulus began to protest tearfully, Sirius stopped him. "I know I say a lot of nasty things about them, but Slytherin doesn't mean you have to be bad, Reg. Look at Andy – Or Cissa. They're awesomely cool, right? And they're in Slytherin." Regulus nodded begrudgingly at this and looked down at his shoes.

"But now I can't hang out with you and your friends all the time and I'll have to make my own friends…and Sirius, the kids my age are _weird_." Sirius let out a bark of laughter and ruffled his little brother's hair.

"Maybe you'll find weird isn't so much of a bad thing once you get to know them," he replied, thinking briefly of his odd blonde, amber-eyed friend.

"Sirius I – " the look on Regulus' face uncertain. He didn't know why or how but he knew that after this moment everything changed. Sirius would go to his tower and play pranks and plan mischief with his friends and Regulus would descend into the dungeons with the other Slytherins, surrounded by dark whispers of a pure future. He knew, like Sirius that this put them on opposing sides of the fight: right now that was just a few pranks, but when they were older? What happened then? But Regulus was just 11 and didn't know how to voice these concerns so he simply hugged his brother around the middle tightly and let a few tears fall.

Sirius sighed and placed his hand on Regulus' back, dark heads bowed together.

"Regulus," Narcissa interrupted them suddenly. "We should go." There was an odd urgency in her voice and Sirius could suddenly hear the voices of a few older Slytherin students coming down an adjoining hall. He let go of Regulus and placed both his hands on his little brother's shoulders, leaning over to look him in the face.

"Reg." he said seriously. "Listen to me. You need to be brave. You can't go around crying because we're not in the same house. You need to listen to Cissa and forget about me. We'll get our chance to hang out in the summer," he took a deep steadying breath. "I need you to be a Black right now Regulus." Regulus simply nodded his head before heading miserably back to Narcissa, clearly in tears. Well that wouldn't do. If the gang of Slytherins rounded the corner to see Regulus crying, he'd never live it down in all of his seven years. Sirius sighed: they'd only been at school for a couple of hours and he was already stepping in to keep his brother sheltered and safe. He watched as Narcissa whisked Regulus away around another corner that Sirius knew was the longer way to the dungeons, before he squared his shoulders and felt the Black sneer stretch across his lips.

"Oi Crabbe – did you get uglier this summer or is it just me?" He ducked the different colours of flashing light coming his way as the Slytherins yelled different obscenities. He fired a few back (ones that he'd learnt at home: that'd give them a bit of a nasty surprise). He was so concentrated on turning Yaxley's hair purple that he didn't see the red spell coming right at him. Suddenly his right elbow was given a tough yank and he toppled out of the way of the spell that exploded across the stonewall behind him. Gaping, Sirius looked up at Remus' smiling face and extended hand as James whooped and hit Hughes with something that caused a sea of purple lesions to break out across his face.

"Need a hand?" Remus asked sardonically, eyebrow raised in amusement. Sirius let out a bark of laughter and took the proffered appendage.

"Thanks mates, don't know where I'd be without you," he said loftily as Peter locked the ankles of one of the group, causing him to tumble over into Carbrera and taking several of them down.

"Any time Sirius," Peter replied with a grin. "But right now it might be best if we get a run on." The four friends turned tail and ran while the older, more numerous gaggle of Slytherins cursed after them and untangled themselves.

They laughed all the way to the tower, James and Sirius engaging in various rough-housing along the way. They laughed through the common room and up into their dorms, where they laughed all through a game of exploding snap. They were then reprimanded by the sixth year prefect and, chuckling, got ready for bed. Remus, humming slightly and drying his hair with a towel as the other boys did similarly, reached over and put on his muggle music-maker, which they had discovered he'd had last year and made him play every night.

"Amazing grace," the radio crooned out and Sirius grinned, flopping back on his bed, taking in his friends in their routine.

"How sweet the sound  
That saved a wretch like me  
I once was lost, but now I'm found  
Was blind, but now I see"

Where would he be, without these boys? Without this house? Without their never-ending support and love? He hoped dearly that his brother found the same sort of salvation in Slytherin: hoped he'd find friends that were nearly as good as his own (never _as_ good – Sirius was convinced there was no such thing). He couldn't protect him from up here in this tower but he hoped that Regulus always knew they'd always be together in a way that only brothers can be.

Sirius let out a huff of air and closed his eyes tiredly. Regulus was in Slytherin. Sirius could sleep peacefully…his brother was safe now.

"Unending love, Amazing grace…."

A/N: So in case you have or have not been able to tell already, sometimes the songs don't always fit exactly with the storyline. I tried my best, but the song was really just a jumping off point. Oh and the songs are from Wikipedia from the entry "List of 1970s UK Singles Chart number ones".


	3. Tie a Yellow Ribbon

**Third Year**

"Whoa, tie a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree  
It's been three long years  
Do ya still want me (still want me)"

Lily tied her hair back with a yellow ribbon, only half her brain focused on the radio. She stared into the mirror that consequently raised an eyebrow and told her to "Buck up lovely, you look ravishing." She smiled wanly at her, barely accustomed to her saucy, flirtatious double after nearly three years. She turned and walked out of the bathroom, nearly being run over by Alice who was muttering under her breath about constantly being late. The door slammed shut behind her before it opened again and the little blonde head peeked out.

"Grab me some breakfast Lils? Pleeeeeeeease," the girl looked so severely distraught that Lily had to hide her grin.

"Of course Alice. I'll meet you outside the hall." Alice grinned perkily, retreating back into the bathroom.

"Super Lils. See you in a mo!" the chirpy voice of her roommate was muffled through the heavy door but Lily shook her head, shouldered her bag and left the room.

She walked down the hall alone, reveling in the quiet. Most people were not like herself – most people were like Alice, waiting until the absolute last minute to get ready for the day ahead of them. There was still time for Alice to have breakfast of course, but she and Lily usually got to Transfiguration early to speak to McGonagall and get clarification on some of the spells they were learning. It had certainly paid off – they were two of the brightest witches of their class. Lily grinned to herself at the thought.

'Take that you hoity-toity pure bloods,' she thought to herself smugly as she passed a group of younger Slytherin girls who grimaced at her. She briefly entertained the thought of sticking out her tongue at them but decided that would be far too immature of her. She rounded the corner quickly and drew to a stop in front of the Great Hall. Standing there, across from her was Severus Snape. His hair was dark and lank like it usually was and he appeared to be dressed in all black although Lily knew that there was a green and silver crest and tie hidden somewhere within his robes. He was clutching his books to his chest possessively, but seemed just as frozen as she was upon seeing him.

She said nothing, not quite sure what there was to say. She wanted to smile and greet him with a hug like she had for the first two years of Hogwarts when they'd seen each other in the hallway. But that had only ostracized them both from their houses and she'd felt her heart crack a tiny bit when he'd suggested that they stop hugging each other, lest other people mistakenly think they were more than friends.

"Well I certainly don't care about that!" Lily had exclaimed, heart still stinging from the suggestion. He'd looked away, refusing to meet her eyes, as though sensing her anger.

"Well you should" he'd replied sullenly. "People don't like inter-house friendships." They both knew he was lying. Slytherins just didn't approve of inter-house relationships when it involved a Gryffindor (and vice versa, she was sure) or a muggle born. She had the unfortunate luck of being both (not that _she_ thought it was unfortunate). She'd looked away from him, struggling to keep her lip from trembling.

"They can't stop us from being friends," she'd whispered and he'd looked her in the eyes then, obsidian eyes wide with surprise.

"Of course not Lily, I just….I think it would be best. But we can still be friends. We are still friends, right?" He'd looked so earnest then she couldn't help but smile slightly (if not wetly) at him. He'd seemed placated but they hadn't been the same since. He kept pulling away from her and she just didn't know what to do. It seemed like every time she attempted to pull him closer, he balked and ran farther away.

They stared at each other; both uncertain of what they were supposed to do next when Antonin Dolohov rounded the corner and swept Severus up with a disdainful look in Lily's direction. Feeling sufficiently cowed by the seventh year (for doing nothing more than standing in front of the Great Hall no less), she resigned herself to it being 'one of those days' and trudged into the hall to grab breakfast.

She plopped herself down ungracefully across from Remus who looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow at her. Peter was sitting next to Remus and waved a hand in greeting to the red head before continuing to furiously scribble on a piece of parchment and eat his English muffin.

"Lily." Remus said, clearly amused by her state of anger in the early morning.

"Remus." She bit back, not surprised when Remus simply smiled indulgently back at her. It was difficult to catch the boy in a bad mood. "Hullo Peter. Are you finishing your Transfiguration paper?" Peter nodded enthusiastically, crumbs flying everywhere but did not raise his head from the parchment.

"Yes," Remus explained, "it seems that Peter here believed it would be wiser for him to play Sirius in another round of chess before starting his paper. And by the time the third game wrapped up it was far too late to finish it." Peter glared at the slight amber-eyed boy.

"Sirius said he had new strategies and he wanted to try them out. _You_ said I could play a game and still have time!" Peter just sounded exasperated and their banter made Lily feel a little lighter inside.

"I said you had time for _one_ game Peter. Not 3." Remus had his eyebrow raised at his shorter friend only to be met with a shrug at the logic.

"Don't you always win Peter? What was the point of even letting Black try?" Peter grinned at the mention of one of the few things he really excelled at.

"Exactly Lily. I _always_ win." Peter spread his arms wide, a blissful smile on his face and Lily and Remus shook their heads in amusement.

"Mr. Pettigrew – is that the essay I set 2 weeks ago?" McGonagall's sharp voice broke the moment as Peter stiffened and turned around to face the professor.

"Erm…."

"The one that is due today?"

"Ahh…."

"I see. Detention tonight Pettigrew. My office, 7 sharp. You can start the next paper then." Peter walked her stride out of the Hall and groaned, dropping his head onto the parchment with a resounding thud. Lily and Remus tried desperately to stifle their laughter and console the poor boy at the same time.

"Tough luck mate," Remus said, following it up with a consoling pat on the back. Peter just sighed mournfully into his cup of orange juice.

"I have the _worst_ luck," the small blonde haired boy muttered emphatically. Lily shot a sympathetic look his way before grabbing two muffins and rising.

"Look on the bright side Peter: at least you can finish the next paper early and beat Black at chess as many times as you want." Peter did appear to be slightly cheered by this so Lily considered it a job well done and raised a hand as goodbye to the two boys. Striding hurriedly out of the hall, she peered around for Alice and became disappointed when she didn't see her. She started off for the Transfiguration class alone, turning a corner and entering a long, empty corridor.

"Lily wait!" a voice called out behind her and she stiffened slightly. She stopped and turned slightly, a wary look on her face.

"Sev," She said pointedly as he jogged to catch up with her. He was panting as he reached her side and she worriedly thought that he should probably get some physical activity in at some point.

"I'll walk you," was all he said, obsidian eyes drinking in her face. She nodded slowly and they walked side by side in silence. And although she wanted to, Lily resisted temptation and kept her hands at her side, clenching her book bag.

"How are you?" she inquired politely, never remembering a more awkward conversation with her best friend before (former best friend a voice reminded her snippily in the back of her mind).

"Good, good…..you?" he questioned, seemingly equally as nervous. She just nodded as they descended in silence again.

"Saw you talking to Lupin and Pettigrew," he said flippantly, as if it didn't bother him. She knew better – knew him better. She felt a tiny flame of anger in her chest and narrowed her eyes at him, although he wasn't looking at her.

"Yes." She replied curtly. "They're my friends." Severus snorted and Lily's eyes narrowed further.

"Those cretins don't know friendship from a flobberworm Lily. You shouldn't be...fraternizing with them. Plus they're fools, allowing Black and Potter to order them around like they're common house elves," Severus' tone was all attitude, and he was sneering heavily as he stretched out Potter's name.

"I'll have you know Remus and Peter are much nicer than Black and Potter. In fact, they haven't been anything but kind to me since we started here – nor you that I can recall." She drily reminded him, knowing that while James and Sirius were the ones to constantly pick on Snape, Peter would usually just laugh quietly while Remus pretended not to see or hear what was going on. While Lily may not agree with what they were doing, she could not fault them for being cowed by Black and Potter (though she did sometimes resent them for it).

"Yes, but they don't exactly step in, do they?" Severus sneered back. She hated that look. The sneering, I-hate-the-world look that just reminded her of when he used to come to visit her after a row with his father. It was defensive, insecure…sad. Lily always felt bad for him when she saw that look – even if feeling bad for him was one of the last things she wanted to do right now. She let out a small sigh.

"Sev, I don't comment on your choice of friends, do I? Plus you were the one who told me to make friends with my own house." He looked affronted at the accusation that he was at fault. Another thing Severus had always had a problem with: admitting that something was his fault. Admitting that he'd played any part in the state (deteriorating state) of their relationship. It always frustrated her to no end.

"You could come hang out with me and my friends," he said so quietly that Lily almost didn't hear him. Maybe that had been the point; maybe he hadn't actually wanted her to hear his ridiculous, callous suggestion. His face was red and his eyes refused to meet hers as if he was embarrassed for just suggesting it.

"Sev," Lily said in a tight voice, attempting to control her anger, "I don't think your friends like me very much." She raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow at him and he flushed further under her gaze. Her heart felt a little swollen, just at the suggestion. She realized that Potter and Black disliked Severus intensely, but they weren't really her friends anyway. Remus would be polite, as would Alice and Marlene if she did bring Severus around. His friends wouldn't even acknowledge her existence except to throw malicious insults her way and hex her when she wasn't looking. Just the suggestion that she could 'hang out' with his friends was enough to infuriate her. Didn't he realize what his decisions were doing to their relationship? Didn't he realize that once he went so far from her, he couldn't come back?

As if sensing her impending anger, Severus quickly grabbed her hand. Her face flushed for an all together different reason and she quickly shed her anger.

"Lily, I don't mean it like that. I know that some of my….acquaintances are not really nice to you," he skipped hurriedly over that part as she began to growl somewhere in the back of her throat. "But we could still hang out you know. Just the two of us, maybe?" What had started out as a confident soothing of her anger quickly turned into an embarrassed mess as both 13 year olds avoided looking at the others' blushing face.

"We could study together, for the History of Magic test that's coming up….I know you're the only other person to take good notes." Lily said softly, pushing away the sudden image of Remus dedicatedly pouring over his parchment while Black snored softly beside him.

"Yeah – absolutely." Severus breathed in a way that was most unlike him. Lily beamed back and him and grabbed his hands tightly in her own. Severus smiled back, a pleased little smile that made Lily simply shine from the inside. _This_ was her Sev, the boy she'd grown up with – her friend. Suddenly they were distracted by raucous laughter that Lily instantly recognized as some of the Slytherin boys. Severus dropped her hands like they were on fire and stepped as far away from her as he could, looking at the ground. Lily stood, shocked, where she had been, hands feeling awkward at her sides as the group came around the corner.

"Snape," she heard a bemused voice say, but she refused to look at them, choosing instead to watch Severus carefully. He raised his eyes coolly towards the group of three Slytherin boys and gave a curt nod in response.

"Carrow." He replied in a sneering voice. The boys stepped closer, and Lily was really wishing she had just kept walking when Severus stopped her, or at least ran before this group came around the corner. She felt her spine harden as she narrowed her eyes at the contemptuous, cruel smile directed her way by Carrow and his henchmen. 3 to 2: not extremely good odds, but she and Sev were much smarter than this lot and….she watched as he looked away from her awkwardly. Well then. 3 to 1. The odds were clearly not in her favour today.

"Evans, what brings you round these parts?" Carrow questioned, sounding slightly maniac with glee at having caught a Gryffindor, muggle born student alone in the hallway before anyone else was there to act as witness. She tossed her head and gave him a devastating look that usually had Potter begging for mercy (and a date) and clenched her fist around her wand in her book bag.

"Tranfiguration, Carrow. McGonagall is just around the corner you know." She wasn't the brightest witch in her year for nothing – she knew when she was outnumbered and it was time to stoop to threats. Carrow took an intimidating step towards her, smile coming off predatorily. Severus looked up sharply, lips pursed in a thin line as he watched the interaction carefully.

"Well then, we'll just have to keep things quiet, won't we?" he murmured at her and she felt the irrational chill of fear travel down her back. She narrowed her eyes at him and attempted to keep the panic from her face. "Shame you're a mudblood Evans," both she and Severus flinched at the term. "Otherwise you'd make a lovely little plaything," his eyes were twinkling like he was enjoying this far too much and Lily was sure she was just about ready to splinter her wand with the force with which she gripped it.

"Morning Carrow," a deceptively cheery voice rang out through the corridor. Lily started so badly she thought her heart leaped out of her chest. Peering down the corridor she saw Remus standing casually, hands in his pockets with Peter and a frantic looking Alice behind him.

"Lupin," Carrow replied with a sneer, but, thankfully, he took a step away from the red-headed witch. She almost sagged palpably with relief, but kept her back straight and her eyes narrowed.

"I wasn't aware that you had Transfiguration with us this morning. Odd, I've never seen you there. I suppose you were just walking Lily to class like the gentlemen you were trained to be?" Carrow said nothing but was sneering at the other boy openly. Remus may not have been very tall or large, but he certainly made up for it in dueling abilities and the entire school knew it. Carrow wasn't stupid enough to take on Remus, especially since their numbers were now equal (and knowing that eventually it would get around to Potter and Black who were known to be overly protective of their lithe friend). Remus sauntered up to Lily's side casually, placing his hand on the small of her back and pushing her to start moving down the corridor. "We'll take it from here boys." He said cordially and inclined his head. The group of 4 Slytherins began moving down the hallway until Remus turned to look at Peter who was rummaging around in his bag.

"Oi – Carrow," Peter called out, producing a squished looking muffin from his bag. "Here's a treat. Good boy!" Alice snickered into her hand as Peter spoke in a high pitched voice like one would when speaking with a dog. Carrow let the muffin roll to the ground and took a step forward in anger when suddenly there was a bright light and he blinked to adjust his eyes as the Gryffindors howled with laughter. His nose was large, bulbous and red and he had a smattering of purple pimples covering his body with bright yellow hair. He looked completely enraged and attempted to cover his face, yelling obscenities at Remus and Peter. The other Slytherins, including Snape, followed after him.

"No matter how brilliant that was," Lily said, attempting to control her laughter, "That was completely unnecessary Remus." The blonde chuckled and raised an eyebrow.

"Wasn't me." He said with a small grin and looked slightly beyond her. Lily furrowed her brow and turned around to see Snape looking back over his shoulder at her, a slight smirk playing around his lips. Lily felt a moment of shock before Remus began guiding her down the hall and more students started filtering in around them.

Alice nattered on at her about what happened but Lily wasn't really listening. She thought about the look on Severus' face, the gentle blush as she took his hands, the laughter in his obsidian eyes. Severus was slipping further and further away from her: his actions still didn't negate the fact that he let Carrow harass her and call her names before her other friends got there. But it did make her heart feel a little lighter at least….maybe there was hope for her Sev yet.


	4. Tigerfeet

A/N: Just quickly I wanted to say thank you to the people who have reviewed or are following this story – really appreciate the feedback!

**Fourth Year**

"Well that's right  
that's right  
that's right  
that's right

I really love your tiger light

and that's neat  
that's neat  
that's neat  
that's neat

I really love your tiger feet"

Peter bounced his foot in time with the music, taking a tentative sip of his drink (and trying not to grimace at how much alcohol there was in it), surveying the crowd in the common room. Everyone was cheering and laughing and dancing to the music playing from the radio that Remus had brought down from their rooms. Sirius had charmed it to play extremely loud and the post-Quidditch-win party was fully underway. All it had taken was some smuggling of butter beer by Peter and James and everyone knew it was going to be a night to remember.

James had his arms around two pretty seventh year girls who were clearly amused by his antics, but not interested. Peter supposed that was probably for the best though, as James kept glancing at Lily who was glaring at the threesome from across the room. He'd finally stopped ruffling his hair (who knew that alcohol stopped that awful habit – perhaps they should just let James carry a flask on him at all times so he'd stop looking like such a turd) and was swaggering his way through the party. He wasn't as graceful on the dance floor as he was on the broom, however, so he gave the dancing people wide berth, lest one of them should think of pulling him into the crowd. He was high on alcohol, life and his most recent Quidditch win and nothing could pull James off of cloud nine right now – not even Severus Snape (although, Peter conceded, if anyone had a good chance, it would be the greasy git).

His hazel eyes were sparkling and his mouth was going a mile a minute as he demonstrated to the crowds some of the finer moments of the game. The captain of the team, Lowsley, was just as eager to jump into the conversation. The two of them were explaining the dynamics to the crowd, whose eyes seemed mostly glazed over but were nodding and smiling none the less (alcohol was helpful in that way). Peter loved James like this: care free, dynamic, enthusiastic – it was hard to take your eyes off of him (Peter noted smugly that Lily seemed to have the same problems). He wasn't making fun of anybody or pulling mean pranks – he was in his element, the life of the party.

Sirius and Remus were dancing with two girls but seemed to be more into dancing and laughing with each other than their dates (who, really, didn't seem to notice….though that could have been the butter beer).

Sirius had his long hair free from the low ponytail he had had it in for the match that afternoon, and it slipped and slid over his shoulders and brushed his back like black silk. His face still had that aristocratic sneer on it (Peter was personally of the mind that Walburga Black had performed a permanent sticking charm on Sirius' face from the first time he managed to give that haughty, superior look). He was wearing a black tank top that scooped down quite low and had a picture of a wolf on the front along with a pair of thin, dark jeans and his combat boots. With his natural grace he was swinging a girl around, smiling occasionally over her head at Remus, straight white teeth glimmering in the low lighting. Peter loved Sirius like this: when he wasn't maniac with rage, instead calm and barking that laugh of his at anything and everything. He was tender and gentle with everyone when he was like this, and he would turn off the charm on by the end of the night, giving his friends a brief moment to look inside his mind and feel like you really knew him.

Remus was dancing with his back to Sirius', smile spread across his face, dimple lighting up his face. Sirius and James were considered to be quite the catch by almost everyone in the school, but Peter knew Remus was the real catch. Remus with his amber eyes flecked with greens and golds, his pale skin and curling blonde hair. He wasn't nearly as tall as Sirius but quite a bit taller than James (a fact which they were no longer permitted to note in public) and was lithe, almost skinny. Although he had been not trained in classical dance like Sirius and James had been, he possessed an unnatural amount of grace when he danced. He'd already danced with 7 girls, and Peter could see a lineup of girls waiting for their turn. Nobody could match Remus on the dance floor, and he absolutely loved dancing. Sometimes, if they'd snuck Firewhiskey into their dorms, Sirius and Remus would get drunk, turn on the radio and dance around the room together. James would hoot and call them names to which Peter always laughed but he privately thought they moved very well together. Peter loved Remus like this: relaxed, not over-thinking things and unbothered completely by the pull of the moon (it was, conveniently, the start of a new moon tonight).

Peter loved his friends. He really and truly did. He knew that some people pitied him, thought him to be stupid, the weak link in a foursome of great talent. He knew better. His friends knew better. He was clutch in chess: he beat every single person in their house, even Kingsley Shacklebolt last year when everyone was raving about how he was unbeatable. He was excellent at finding things (he'd found most of the passages in Hogwarts for their map – he may not have been able to open them, but he knew where they were). He was surprisingly good at lying and hiding. He may not be the brains or the brawn behind the operations of the Marauders but he was an integral part and his friends hardly ever failed to let him know it.

He took another sip of his drink and leered eagerly at his friends around the room. It wasn't so wrong, he thought, to love them so much. Without them he wouldn't have any friends. He wouldn't be famous around the school for being part of the infamous Marauders. He wouldn't ever have passed all his courses without them (though that was mostly Moony's doing). His parents wouldn't have been so proud of him, and he doubted he'd have _ever_ kissed a girl if Sirius and James hadn't helped him ask that sweet Hufflepuff on a Valentine's date last year. They were the light of his world, the reason he existed as he knew himself today….

And yes, sometimes it sucked following James around everywhere (Sirius got too annoyed far too quickly and Remus was always trying to stay away from the limelight, which didn't serve Peter's daily need for slight recognition). It especially sucked when they got involved in duels with the Slytherins. Peter wasn't strong enough or quick enough to duel with some of the upper classmen like the others could, and would usually end the skirmish being escorted up to the Hospital Wing – sans James, who would be enthusiastically recalling the event with his group of admirers. He never resented James so much as at these times.

And it definitely sucked being the one Sirius constantly lost his mind at. James could get just as hot headed as Sirius, and if Sirius went off on his best friend, James would give as good as he got. Those fights usually ended up with a duel and one of the younger Gryffindor students running to find a Professor. They'd both decided, somewhere in their second year that perhaps detentions were not worth venting their frustrations at each other so they rarely fought these days (at least, not publicly). Sirius rarely yelled at Remus. Peter supposed it probably wasn't fun to scream at someone who was completely void of any and all reactions. Sirius could scream in Remus' face for hours until the boy would look up and ask him if he was 'quite finished being insane'. And so, when Sirius felt antsy, or when a prank on Snape went wrong (and they often did – Severus Snape was much smarter than James and Sirius believed), Peter usually got the worst of it. He never despised Sirius so much than at these times.

It most definitely sucked being with Remus leading up to the full moon. James and Sirius had long ago decided that they would be responsible for fetching Remus' books, food, homework, clothes – anything and everything he needed leading up to and just after the full moon (Peter had been deemed unsuitable after he had once, _accidentally_ given Remus coffee instead of tea and not only had Remus burnt himself on it, he'd spit it out all over the three boys sitting around him). Peter's task was to sit quietly by the werewolf's bedside and keep him talking (Remus tended to get depressed and withdrawn around a moon). Peter would natter on about anything and everything that he could think of until Remus, gentle, quiet Remus would turn to him with his big amber eyes shining with more gold than usual, and growl, baring his teeth and tell him to 'Shut the fuck up Pettigrew'. Peter never loathed Remus and what he was more than in these moments.

But no one else saw these moments. James was careful to maintain a precarious balance between caring for his friends and ignoring them for his own ego. And although many knew Sirius had a very shaky hold on his sanity, he usually saved the worst moments for the dorm room or somewhere else secluded. It goes without saying that Remus kept those moments where the wolf was far too present locked away from everyone else at all times. The only person who saw them like this, at their absolute worst, was Peter. And he hated them for it. He averted his eyes from the dance floor where Remus and Sirius had managed to capture James between them and were dancing him around the room. James was red faced and spluttering in indignation at looking like a fool but his two friends were ignoring him amid the laughter and cheers following them around the dancefloor. Sirius leaned down obnoxiously and planted a wet, loud kiss to James' cheek and met Remus' eyes over the messy head of hair with a wink.

Peter nursed his drink carefully and stared out the window of the common room, feeling suddenly alone and slightly forlorn. Maybe his friends weren't really as great as he'd always thought….maybe _he _was the one held back by them instead of the other way around.

He startled suddenly as he felt an arm drape around his shoulders, nearly causing him to spill his drink. He turned his watery blue eyes up at Sirius, who was barking with laughter as James sputtered at him and Remus, who was laughing, dimple out in full force.

"Alright Pete?" Remus asked in that quiet voice of his, speaking over James who was now looking around to make sure Lily wasn't laughing at him.

"Er – yeah. Yeah, fine." Sirius shook the shorter boys' shoulders slightly.

"Peeeeete! You need to get out and dance! I'm sure James'd like to have another go," he winked at James who in turn scowled at him.

"Ahhh…I don't know…" Peter mumbled, feeling his cheeks go red.

"Just so we are clear Messr Pettigrew, I will not be dancing with you," James sniffed, with his nose up in the air. "Buuuut….I think Lily's friend Mary looks like she could use a twirl or two around the floor." All boys had identical smiles on their faces, as they attempted to encourage Peter to ask the little brunette girl for a dance.

"You think so?" Peter asked dubiously, suddenly feeling stupid for questioning his friends. So they were a right bit stupid and insensitive sometimes: they were _boys_. They were _supposed_ to be that way (he ignored his mother's voice in his head that muttered that _he_ wasn't that way).

"Of course Pete! Look, she's eyeing you up right now!" Sirius whispered loudly. Peter eyed the girl from across the room uncertainly. It actually looked like she was looking anywhere but at them, but what did he know: he certainly hadn't been with as many girls as Sirius had.

"The worst she can say is no," Remus said quietly with a smile and a shrug.

"And if she does we'll play a nasty prank on her and make her regret saying no to someone who is, quite possibly, the love of her life!" James said enthusiastically, punching his fist in the air for emphasis. Remus just raised a blonde eyebrow while Sirius laughed along nodding.

"I don't think blackmailing her into saying yes is a very good thing," the prefect reminded the two boys who simply ignored his common sense.

"Com' on Pete – you won't ever know if you don't try!" James said, hauling him to his feet and pushing him in the direction of the fourth year girls. Peter looked over his shoulder indecisively at his friends, watching them watching him excitedly. James was standing, almost pitching himself forward in anticipation, waving his hands around to move Peter forward with sheer will. Sirius was smirking, still sitting beside where Peter had been, but he gave Peter the thumbs up when he looked back. And Remus was standing beside Sirius, hands in his pockets and a small, encouraging smile on his face.

Peter smiled confidently and turned back to stride across the room. He had the best friends ever. And he really loved them. Really.


End file.
